Comments on comments....

You know when I started doing this blog, I really thought it was about me just expressing myself. I didn't think it would really matter whether there were followers or comments...I've come to find I was wrong. It's all well and good to have certain feelings and ideas, but sharing them just with yourself is, well...it's talking to yourself, isn't it? It's nice to know that someone else is out there reading and agreeing or sometimes disagreeing...that's okay too. But it's also important who those comments come from. People can sometimes be fickle and play fast and loose with your emotions...so it's important who's opinions you put weight behind. Because after all, your ideas are like your creations...your children and you're sending them out into the world and making yourself quite vulnerable. So I want to thank my friends and family who take the time to read and sometimes comment. It really is much more important than I thought and each time I see there's a comment...zing go the strings of my little blogging heart....

Oh, what a tangled mess…

As you know, I was not able to go on this year’s fall fishing trip. It turned out to be a rather cold and windy trip. I’m not saying I’m glad I didn’t go….I’m saying I don’t like cold and windy, though. Sunday and Monday evenings, were cool and breezy, I guess, but Tuesday, ah, Tuesday. That was the evening of the fish fry…. After the deed had been done and the camp was cleaned up of all signs of corn meal, frying pans and hush puppies…the Fish Gods took their revenge. Glen said you could hear the wind coming down the lake and then it was on them! Richard and Greg had been starting their stove to do the dishes, when it hit. Greg grabs a hold of our pop up and tries to keep it from taking him to Oz. He looks over at Richard who has a hold of his pop up and it’s lifting him off the ground. Our pop up just flattens on top of the tent (brand new tent…only second time out), Greg’s holding on, trying to get it off the tent when Glen and the gang run up from the other camp and try to help. As Greg hollers over the wailing wind that they need to get the cover off, he hears ripping and tearing and viola it’s off…not quite the way he wanted it to be though. They drag the carnage away from the tent and turn to help Richard. Cindy’s trying to cut the ropes holding Richard’s popup, stakes are being pulled and finally they get it folded up and laid down. The carnage….

The squeamish should look away…

All I can hope is that the Fish Gods have extracted their payment and that we won’t have another installment due on our next trip. Did I mention it was only the second trip for our popup too and that it was an early Christmas present and now it’s gone??? Did I mention that???



Photos courtesy of my bubba, Richard.

Listen...it's so quiet....

Things have been so crazy these last couple of years. As time goes by, I find less and less time just for myself. I find that Mom is needing more of my time and attention; which was expected. Especially right now with her heart being in rapid a-fib...we're both a little uncomfortable. Nicole, who just recently had strep throat, is complaining of a sore throat again. There's swelling of her tonsils so not sure if the antibiotic kicked the infection out completely. Mom is having to skip medications at certain times and adding new ones. I'm trying to get Nicole to stay on top of taking her vitamin C, A&D and zinc to ward off anything severe. So this morning while I'm reminding her to take the pills I put out on the counter, Mom's calling for me to come and separate the pills she's not supposed to take and I had a moment of "Calgon, take me away!".

Mom's gone to dialysis, Nicole is off to school and Greg is still at the lake....listen, it's really quiet. Somedays I just love that. I wouldn't want it all the time, but I'm smart enough to enjoy it while it's here. Soon Mom will be home from dialysis, Nicole home from school...usually with a friend....and Greg may be home from the lake today. Then the chaos that is my life will be back in full swing...but until then....listen, it's so quiet....  

Making beds and legacies…

I can’t decide what I want to title this posting….maybe it will come to me by the time I’m finished.

Raising children is such a challenging task. There is a 15 year gap between my son and daughter, but that’s a topic for another time. The point being that when I was in my twenties and thirties raising my son, I was younger, my outlook was different, my back was stronger, and my energy level much higher. I did some things right and I did some things wrong, but I did try to learn from the mistakes I made. So now that my daughter is 15 (almost) and my son is 30, I am operating from a much different place and raising a child while in my forties and now fifties is alien territory. I find I have more patience and understanding, but less energy and stamina. Sometimes the debates just wear me out and I give in to things I would never have given in to with my son. But sometimes my improved perspective also makes for a very rewarding and close relationship with my daughter….a relationship I never had with my mother. With my son, I thought my insistence that he make his bed and keep his room tidy was just about hygiene and housekeeping. Today I understand that it is more about consistency and the ability to push through something you may find tedious and boring but that requires your attention…like homework. It’s about self discipline and time management.

The one thing that has never changed is love. You have got to let your children know you love them and value them. They need to know that you are always there to support them, pick them up and dust them off and set them on the path again. They need to know their worth to you and to themselves. They need to know that home is a haven and a safe place. They need to know that curiosity and exploration are good things. They need to understand what it means to be kind and nonjudgmental. And even with all the mistakes I have made along the way, I have blessedly been able to impart that to both my children. My son has grown into a man I am very proud of…a man who is now teaching his son the same importance of love.  My daughter is already a young lady who is kind, generous and loving. My relationships with both of them so enrich my life.

All in all it is hard but rewarding work. Work that I am now beginning to see will be apparent after I’m gone. Work that really does become a legacy. Oh, I think I know what I’ll name this post.

Annual Fall Fishing Trip….

We ask a simple question
And that is all we wish:
Are fishermen all liars?
Or do only liars fish?
~William Sherwood Fox, Silken Lines and Silver Hooks, 1954


"Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after." Henry David Thoreau


Now isn’t this a proud poppa with his three “boys”?? I can’t tell you how long it’s been going on, but my oldest brother, Glen, has been organizing a spring and fall fishing trip for family and friends for quite some time. Years ago when it started, things were quite different. Boats were smaller, no motor homes – tents and campers only….sometimes guys slept in their trucks (or in the heavy drinking days, wherever they passed out).  Far back in the dawn of it’s conception, I don’t believe women were allowed. ..or if allowed, discouraged. There have been some wild times,  but due to copyright infringements I won’t go into too many details. Glen is soon to retire and I believe he has a book in mind to write and I couldn’t begin to tell the stories as well as he will….floods going through tents, eating popcorn out of cowboy hats from the back of your truck while you watched it rain, guns going off in the middle of the night (Porter you are sorely missed),a  log rolling over a cousin and young nephews coming up through the ranks to be initiated. Good times indeed.

View Full Album

I haven’t kept copies of all the pictures they send so these are only a few. I have only made it to one of the trips in the past, but was looking forward to going this time. Mom’s having a little trouble with her heart rate right now and I’m not comfortable leaving her here. So I’ll content myself with stories and pictures again….this time….but watch out come the spring trip!!!!


Photos courtesy of family members..not sure which are from who.

Atticus Finch….

One of my all time favorite movies and books is “To Kill a Mockingbird”. I fell deeply in love with Gregory Peck  when I first watched this movie with my Pop.  I was still a young girl and I know what touched me most was his quiet strength and the love he had for his children. I was thrilled and scared all at once during the scene when Scout and Jem are attacked on their way home from the school play. As I grew up, I began to understand all the other important issues the book touched upon. I just loved it more.

I am also a lover of birds and have enjoyed living out in the country at my Mom’s and observing all the baby birds. They are so demanding when it’s feeding time.

Their big maws open wide enough to split, pushing and positioning themselves to get a piece of the goodies. This is a family of baby mockingbirds in a nest the parents built in a pulled down tree in the lot next to Mom’s property. Even all the way over on our back porch, you could hear them when mom or dad flew in with dinner. It was amazing to watch them grow. One day I was in a total panic when I spotted one of the little guys in our backyard. He seemed way too small to be out exploring. I put on a pair of gloves (like they didn’t smell like humans, right?), picked the little guy up and returned him to the nest.  You can’t imagine how horrified I was when later in the afternoon I saw  him right back in the yard. I named this little guy Atticus…for obvious reasons. 

View Full Album

He hopped around the yard, copying the weird little dance his parents did…spreading their wings in little jerking movements and hopping along. One of his favorite spots was the flower bed.

View Full Album

He was such a funny little guy to watch, but I worried about him all the time. The neighbors have cats. Not a good mix…baby birds and cats.  Soon after these pictures were taken, I didn’t  see Atticus or his wild and crazy brother, Sam (named after a nephew who was also wild and crazy), anymore. There are several new mockingbirds around the yard this year and I’m choosing to believe two of them are Atticus and Sam….

Textures….

Textures so enrich our lives…..through sight and touch. It’s hard to catch textures in photographs sometimes. Here are a few of my favorite attempts.

Swirls and whirls on a frosty morning in Flagstaff..

View Full Album

Fuzzy, hairy and fluffy…

View Full Album

Velvet…

View Full Album

Some of these you’ll have to click on and zoom in on the picture. I’ve not quite got the hang of getting a photo I’ve altered to stay altered once I move it to the photo album….You know what I’ll have to do….Tracy!!!!!

I had a little nut tree….

I had a little nut tree, nothing would it bear,

View Full Album

But a silver nutmeg and a golden pear.

View Full Album

The king of Spain’s daughter came to visit me
And all was because of my little nut tree.

Greg came home for lunch today and after having a lovely Chicken Enchilada Soup (I got the recipe from the Pioneer Woman blog - absolutely delicious!!) as he was leaving, I told him I had gotten some pears for him. And of course, my Mom pops up and says I didn't buy the pears for him....imagine that. She says I bought them to take pictures of...can you believe it???

Heathcliff and Gertrude….

A few years ago, I went to stay with my very dear friend, Mary, and her family in Camas, Washington. Mary was facing follow up surgery after a complication and I wanted to be near her. Everything was a success and we had a very enjoyable visit.  Mary, her husband, Doug and I all went on a day trip to the Oregon coast. In all the years of traveling with my father during the military, we had never lived in the Pacific Northwest. Such a powerful place….so many beautiful sights to see. It was a misty, rainy day which suited me just fine. The beach was primeval looking and calming and made me feel small.

The sea gulls were all around an area where some other visitors were feeding them heaven knows what….all kinds of cholesterol and transfatty something or others, I’m sure.

But there were these two sea gulls off by themselves just looking out to sea. It made me think of the old Red Skelton routine about Heathcliff and Gertrude. So that’s what I named them….

Life isn’t always pretty….

We have a roadrunner that has been pretty much raised in our yard. He's really quite the character and most of the time he's enjoyable to watch. Today, however, I saw him take a dead sparrow out of the bird bath and head for the hills. I don't believe he killed the bird, but I can't really say. He usually will slow down when I talk to him, but not this time....zoom....he was out the gate with his "snack". I snuck around the front to see if I could get a picture of him and got lucky. The light wasn't the best and when I tried to move around to the other side, he said enough's enough and picked up his dinner and headed off. The pictures are a bit graphic, but it is life....if he doesn't eat, he dies. So even though I value the beauty in my garden more, I have to acknowledge the reality sometimes too.

View Full Album

Ladybug, ladybug, fly away home…

While out harvesting some okra this afternoon, I noticed this pretty little ladybug. She was very kind and waited for me to dash to the house and get my camera. She also tolerated being nudged in one direction or another so I could get a better shot. In the second picture, if you look closely at the reflection on her side, you can see me taking her picture. Too crazy!!! I didn’t realize that they were so shiny??? What a sweet little bug and since she eats the bad bugs in my garden, she’s always welcome….

 

 

That Tracy….she’s a jewel….

I love all the things that Tracy does with her blog and she shows me how to do things all the time. This is just one more example of her awesome teaching skills. I have always loved how she put pictures on her blog in certain ways. This is one of them. Tracy, you’re a jewel: a precious gem; treasured; esteemed; sometimes multifaceted…that’s Tracy alright…

View Full Album

Blue and Yellow.....

There are so many beautiful colors in a garden. Even the varying shades of green are gorgeous. But two of my favorite colors in a garden are blue and yellow. One is so cool and calming...the other so bright and beckoning. Both put a smile on my face and warmth in my heart.

I can't help but think of my Grandma Kearfott whenever I see a flower. She and my grandpa would have such awesome gardens each year. One of my favorite memories of childhood is sitting in the swing that hung from this huge old oak tree..the sun is going down and we can see the whole yard layed out before us. The lightening bugs are starting to come out and grandma and I are sitting there, swinging and snapping green beans...life just doesn't get any better than that.

Walk about the yard....

I love this time of year..I can plant things and most of the time they grow. Not always. I seem to be challenged by pansies. Not quite sure why, but they are difficult for me to grow. I love how the stocks smell...so sweet. The hummer was enjoying the blossom on the aloe vera today. I wasn't able to get a picture. But I could just take pictures of flowers all day long...if the family would let me.

Friendships, flowers and fallin' apart birdhouses....

My Mom was a military wife who made many friends along the way. She cherished her friendships and valued her friends. Years ago, one of her close friends lost her battle with cancer and left a hole in my Mom's heart. As is often the case, there were so many beautiful flowers at the funeral and her friend's husband sent a plant home with Mom. Mom may nurture friendships, but she's not as good with flowers and plants. Thankfully this was a pothos and could hold it's own. Because the plant was never watered, dusted or referred to without also speaking of her friend....this plant was important to my Mom. It became a matter of pride at how long she had had the plant and that it still lived although her friend no longer did. Arizona water is not the best and after time began to take it's toll on the wooden birdhouse planter the plant was in. Mom would occasionally mention how "she" needed to repot the plant...then a couple more years would go by. Recently, she saw a flower pot she just knew was what she wanted to repot her plant in and so this journey began.

With Mom watching on, I trimmed the plant back to put starts in water to root. Every day or so I would hear, "Are there any roots yet?" ...."Is there water on the cuttings?"....."Are there any roots yet?" Now remember this is the same Mom who recently sent a gopher to his reward with a broom.....but somehow taking care of the mundane tasks of rooting this plant were beyond her capabilities. This morning while she was gone to dialysis, I decided today was the day to repot Mom's plant. I gathered everything I would need and worked at our picnic table in the backyard. It was a glorious morning and as I completed this simple task for my Mom, I talked to her friend and told her what a wonderful friend she had been to my Mom. The job is done and I know my Mom will be thankful when she gets home.

I couldn't help but think when I looked at that sad, broken down, fallin' apart little birdhouse planter how, although weathered and worn, it had housed my Mom's memories for years. It was just a vessel and it's time was done, but the love and memories it held would live on....I hope when my time comes and God gives me a new vessel, He talks to me and tells me what a good friend I was.

Happy surprise!!!

Oh, what a happy surprise. I didn't notice that there is a bee in the middle of the flower until I clicked on it to see if you guys could enlarge it to see it better. There he is with his butt sticking out...maybe the other bee wasn't sick, just drunk on nectar and waiting for a taxi to fly him back to the hive....

Growing things....

We tried a summer garden and didn't do very well. We were late getting started. The only thing still producing from that garden is the okra. It has quite a pretty flower. It reminds me of a hollyhock. We've started our fall garden and have radishes and leaf lettuce popping up already. We also planted spinach, carrots and green onions. We're hoping this short heat wave we're having won't be too hard on the little seedlings. It really is amazing that you can put that little, tiny seed in the dirt provide water and sunshine and viola!!! little green things start sprouting. It's a wonderful thing.

Nicole and I think the bee must have not been very healthy....he never flew away and he didn't seem to mind getting his picture taken. Supposedly, Albert Einstein stated that if the world was to lose it's honey bees, it would end within four years....sad.

Nicole's on the mend....

Back from the doctor's office and it's sad to say, but we're happy all she has is strep throat. What has the world come to when that's the lesser of all the evils?? But her fever is being well controlled with Motrin and lots of fluids, her throat is still sore, but she's getting better. So thankful it wasn't something more. She is a trooper and handles things pretty well. I guess she better learn a little empathy because she wants to go into the medical field. But she's "needing" a back rub and since she may be taking care of me in my "old age", I better get hoppin'....

One of my favorites...Matt Nathanson "All We Are"

The gopher wars....

Okay, anyone who has ever lived in Arizona understands the fight with gophers...at least out here in the country. This evening Mom yelled at me to "run quick something was after Millie" (our little dog). Well I know you ALL know I don't "run quick" anywhere anymore, but I gave it my best effort. And there it was...a pretty good sized gopher doing it's best to get up on the porch and Millie was holding it at bay. That instinctive urge to protect her loving family, I'm sure. Well I was the first one out the door and the closest thing to grab was a broom. Not my weapon of choice, but the only one handy. I'm yelling at Millie to get away and pushing the gopher back into the yard with the broom, the gopher is charging at the broom and Millie ain't having any of that nonsense. I'm yelling (yes, yelling would be a good description of what I was doing) at Nicole to get Millie in the house and get me the...this is where you more genteel, animal-right activists may want to stop reading....pellet gun. She grabs Millie, gets her back inside, puts her down to get the gun, and out the door Millie charges again!! Mom has made it out the door by now and thinks "it just isn't natural for that gopher to be biting that broom like that." Oh, the power of understatement. I'm still "sweeping" the gopher back out into the yard and Nicole gets Millie back in the house and hands me the gun....it won't shoot. She's pumped it up, pumped in the pellet, and supposedly taken the safety off...still won't shoot. I, not wanting to use the gun as a club, drop it, grab the broom and Mom goes for a bucket to throw over the gopher. We get that done and I'm checking out the gun to see if I can figure out why it's not working and Mom says to just let it wait til Greg gets home....ummm Mom, it's a gopher. It can dig. So brave thing that I am, I hand Mom the broom and get ready to take aim after she knocks the bucket off of the varmit...still won't shoot. I'm thinking "ah sh..." and what does my 77 year old mother do??? She beats the gopher to death with the broom and walks up on the porch telling me "Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do".

I thought about attaching a picture of the gopher, now deceased, but decided I would bring down the wrath of some animal protection group. And Mom declined both photo and interview...so I guess this is all you get. What a lovely way to end the day out here on the front lines of The Gopher Wars....



Quote from "O Brother, Where Art Thou" Ulysses Everett McGill: No thank you, Delmar. One third of a gopher would only arouse my appetite without bedding it down.

The times they are a chang'n...

I have been so very bad about spending time with my blog lately, but I've been inspired by my lovely cousin, Tracy. She's been updating and revising her blog and I knew it was time. So I've been doing some changing myself...to the blog anyway. We'll just call it a little rejuvenation, a little facelift, a little pick-me-up. It was fun and challenging and I probably could have done some things better, but I'm happy with where it is now. I'm going to try and be more attentive. The weather is turning gorgeous and my spirits are lifting in direct proportion to the thermometer dropping. So don't give up on me yet.

Sad, sad, sad....

Sad little blog...nobody loves you. You're being terribly ignored....most of all by me.