Making beds and legacies…

I can’t decide what I want to title this posting….maybe it will come to me by the time I’m finished.

Raising children is such a challenging task. There is a 15 year gap between my son and daughter, but that’s a topic for another time. The point being that when I was in my twenties and thirties raising my son, I was younger, my outlook was different, my back was stronger, and my energy level much higher. I did some things right and I did some things wrong, but I did try to learn from the mistakes I made. So now that my daughter is 15 (almost) and my son is 30, I am operating from a much different place and raising a child while in my forties and now fifties is alien territory. I find I have more patience and understanding, but less energy and stamina. Sometimes the debates just wear me out and I give in to things I would never have given in to with my son. But sometimes my improved perspective also makes for a very rewarding and close relationship with my daughter….a relationship I never had with my mother. With my son, I thought my insistence that he make his bed and keep his room tidy was just about hygiene and housekeeping. Today I understand that it is more about consistency and the ability to push through something you may find tedious and boring but that requires your attention…like homework. It’s about self discipline and time management.

The one thing that has never changed is love. You have got to let your children know you love them and value them. They need to know that you are always there to support them, pick them up and dust them off and set them on the path again. They need to know their worth to you and to themselves. They need to know that home is a haven and a safe place. They need to know that curiosity and exploration are good things. They need to understand what it means to be kind and nonjudgmental. And even with all the mistakes I have made along the way, I have blessedly been able to impart that to both my children. My son has grown into a man I am very proud of…a man who is now teaching his son the same importance of love.  My daughter is already a young lady who is kind, generous and loving. My relationships with both of them so enrich my life.

All in all it is hard but rewarding work. Work that I am now beginning to see will be apparent after I’m gone. Work that really does become a legacy. Oh, I think I know what I’ll name this post.